~MrGegner

I think it's safe to say that self-inflicted punch in the face usually helps... even if you can't remember why you did it in the first place. Man did I save that from being an awkward situation or what?

Well, there you go folks! Another day, another year, another portion of my cake gone. Hell, It was my 19th Birthday! the big One Nine. In one more year I will have lived for two decades... well, technically when I'm 21, but who's technical nowadays? It's all 'Super Technical' now! Meaning I've been alive for longer than my age suggests because of Leap Years. Only by a handful of days, but yeah... don't ruin my run.

Aaaaanyway! Let's talk about something other than me. As much as you guys find it fascinating. He he he.

One of the best things in the world for me is a well prepared cup of coffee. Sometimes I absolutely love the taste. Coffee has been there through all the good times. I taste coffee and I remember all those nights I stayed up until 6am drawing on my bedroom floor for the sake of it. Or when I woke up early on a Saturday (this being my school years) and went to read by the sunlight in my living room, with a cup of coffee. The first time I every stayed up for 24 hours. The time I found out I could mix it with rum. The time I stayed up for over 50 hours (for the hell of it). It's a class A beverage. And it's obviously not the biggest thing in my life, because YES that would just be sad! Anyway, my point is, it's sometimes the smaller qualities in life that people overlook.

I mean, I just wrote a paragraph on a handful of good memories coffee has been there for. Theres hundreds more! And theres thousands more memories from other things... Most folks take shit for granted. Or they don't take time to appreciate the little things that makes their life 'complete'. Look at your pencils, pens, computer (etc.), when was the last time you really, really did thank the dude/shedude that invented these things. When was the last time you actually thought "Gosh darn! I'm so glad this is here, I can't imagine my life without it." I mean, clearly sometimes you could say that was a problem, say it was an addiction to something... but for inanimate objects (that are not sexually related) it's not a problem to find it hard to imagine a world without them. You can't help it, it's all you've ever known. Blame human 'rogress'. Anyhow... I can quickly turn this into a towering titanic frenzy of my disgust for modern human 'civilization', but this is meant to be a nice journal entry.

All I want you to do, for maybe 30 minutes a week or more--depends how assed you can be--grab a seat, grab a drink and think of all the LITTLE things you really do enjoy and take a moment to appreciate the little bastards. From watching a sunset to the feeling when someone strokes your neck to a song to a nice bottle of rum with your best friend. Appreciate it while you can, cos not all of us can live forever.

Dr Raoul Out. xxx

Humankind sucks. Its the bare naked, brutally honest truth. You suck, I suck we all suck. Lets pack a bag for the holiday and die. You are nothing, humanity is nothing. I can't stress enough how pointless and insignificant our presence is here in the universe. We are not the children of god and we most certainly arent interesting to anything else out there that is more evolved than we are. Why would they be? We're a bunch of primates. It's nothing they haven't seen before. have you ever tried explaining yourself to a cockroach? Why would you? My point is we suck. :]

Whether you like it or not, you are just another monkey. Oh sure you can talk and have sophisticated desires and the worst of us can actually make something of ourselves... sometimes. The fact is your an animal. There is no higher power that dictates you should live your life a certain way. The only reason that god delusion exists is because of an evolutionary misfire and an uneducated primitive way to explain the universe. God is a figment of the human mind. So don't try your hardest to impress it. You wouldn't try to impress a dream would you? It's electrical signals. Fools.

You may be able to tell that Dr Raoul is slightly nihilistic and has a touch of misanthropy. What I am really trying to get at here is basically what I already said: You are an animal. So act like one. Appease the internal drives and instincts! I mean, act like a human animal. Not a fucking Lion or a bear. You fucking bear. :] Let go. Let the primal urges come through. The urge for territorial violence! Casual sex! Being number fucking one! Self destruction OR improvement. Whatever raises your flower bubba.

There is no real point to your life here whatsoever. Life is a fluke. A freak of nature. Rocks are thinking your a toss pot and a screw up because you're organic and made up of millions of living cells. You shouldn't be here! I shouldn't. Now, don't get me the wrong way here. I'm not suicidal and on the verge of committing myself to genocide. Hell no, what kind of weirdo are you? Quite the opposite. I bloomin love life! the fact that there is nothing, no omniscient power dictating how I should spend my meaningless time in this expanse of reality. I can do whatever the hell I want with no reprimands whatsoever. Knowing full well that the best and worst thing that will inevitably happen to me is... I'm gonna die. Oh boo hoo. Its the curse of life. Proving full well that it's not supposed to exist. Life dies. What was there before life? Nothing. That's where life goes back to.

Now. Lets all round up a big fucking case of drugs, a truck of alcohol, lots of beautiful people and go have a party celebrating the the fact we have a fucking chance to celebrate and we have nothing better to do. Give your existence its own meaning. It's own flavor. A 'kink', that makes you feel like you haven't wasted your nothing of a life here. Get the drive bitches. Do your thing! Make your mark. As long as you don't harm your 'fellow' useless human brethren. Let the other monkeys do their thing. That's the way it should be. Nobody in anybodies business that they have nothing to fucking do with. Human kind will only be truly happy when it goes back to tribal communities. That's how evolution made it, city populations are not good for the human psyche.

Please, just stop pandering to 'god' & authority & your false loosely weaved morals. Just don't cause any uneeded trouble to anybody and do your thing. Enjoy your meaningless existance folks. :]

Raoul out. Love you who deserve it. :] xxx

There is a phenomenon in the universe known as 'Bastards' you may also be familiar with its scientific name "Imafucking Prickass". Yes. This is a thing we all encounter in our day to day lives. For some it is a problem, for others it's not.

Sometimes a bastard can go unnoticed for a great length of time before you finally realise, "you're such a bastard", then your entire reality on 'said bastard' is flipped around and their veil of lies is torn to the ground and thoroughly stamped and pissed on as a kind of 'official mark of approval' that the bastard has been rumbled.

Some may be excited and frightened to know that I - Dr Raoul - has dawned on some pseudo-scientific-philosophical incontrovertible evidence that we all are in fact bastards! Yes.. even you females! If this is too much, please take a breather and a giant glass of water.

Anyway, the guiding principle for being a bastard is because a child's parents aren't married when he is conceived and essentially born. Allow me to explain why everybody is a bastard even if your parents were wed before you were born...

Marriage is traditionally a religious thing. It is like a milestone in life. A before and after thing. If a child is born before its parents are wed and go do the dirty on their mediocre Blackpool honeymoon then it is essentially (in Ye Olde English usage of the noun) a bastard. But, because religion isn't real then there is no defining omniscient universal power that states that marriage is in fact a real universal law and that it exists in reality whatsoever. Therefore even if your parents have a piece of paper with their marriage certificate on it and you were born on any day after the date it bears... you are a bastard anyway. :] xx

We all know how much of a bastard life can be, don't we? Yeah. Well. Why do some people seem to expect the best out of any given situation? Whether it's a new experience, scenario or a personal philosophy. Some people think its gonna be all cakes and fairies.

For gods sake! Haven't you learned already? Life is bullshit! I mean, I love life... but I hate it too. theres some things and people you absolutely adore, then theres the things and people you despise and wish to die in a most heinous way... now don't give me your self-righteous crap like "I could never wish anything bad on anybody" or "I don't actually hate anybody, I just like some more than others"; 'cos that is dinocrap, just keep lying to yourself like that and you might actually really believe it one day. I used to be that way, but that phase is over - thankfully.

I digress. My point is: expect stuff to balls up. In most cases, it does. Just take it in your stride of life and get on with it. The worst thing that you can do is learn from the damn situation. The best you can do is laugh and then never balls up the way you did... maybe you forked the power socket... maybe you didn't watch how much milk you poured into your tea and now it's all over the counter... or perhaps you even ran over a small mammal! Just take it for what it is and get on with it. Don't be scared to try and fail.

By all means, I'm not saying 'don't put effort in cos your just going to screw it up and embarrass yourself', I'm saying you shouldn't get so upset and pissed off when it does cock up and go peanut shape. Cos peanuts are mongrel plant matter. Is it a fruit? Is it a nut? Is it an indeterminable piece of plant life that I'm not smart enough to know what it is? peanuts everywhere are laughing at your indecisiveness you fools!

Sorry, I digress again. I do like peanuts tho', don't get me wrong. The moral of my entry is:
"Don't get so excited about a good situation, 'cos the universe isn't nice enough to let it last forever"

Thanks to those who read. Rylan out! xx